​​@michethadish I feel the therapist should not communicate her skilled intentions but communicate from human to human and adress we can find our what behavior belongs to your pain and what belongs to you. The undamaged person within you clearly seeks to differentiate and heal, awareness can help you do that.

We are designed to experience emotions,  we also possess the capacity to regulate them.

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The principles I advocate truly work. They are rooted in a deep understanding of human behavior and psychology, which allows them to resonate with individuals on a personal level. By focusing on actionable strategies and real-world applications, these principles empower individuals to make meaningful changes in their lives. Whether it’s enhancing productivity, improving relationships, or fostering personal growth, each principle is designed to be practical and relatable, ensuring that anyone can implement them effectively.

Moreover, the importance of consistency cannot be overstated. Consistency is the backbone of success; it transforms the principles from mere ideas into tangible results. By committing to regular practice and making these principles a part of daily routines, individuals begin to see incremental improvements that lead to significant transformations over time. This steady dedication not only builds confidence but also reinforces the belief that positive change is achievable, creating a powerful cycle of motivation and success.

1.

Understanding our emotions is just one step in the journey; it alone does not provide a complete solution. Mental health is intricately connected to our ability to consciously and effectively recognize, feel, and ultimately regulate our emotions. Rather than being overwhelmed or controlled by our feelings, we can choose the appropriate time and space to address them. This approach allows us to fully experience our emotions without being at their mercy. We become proactive individuals who take ownership of our feelings. Conversely, those who struggle to manage their emotions often find themselves feeling stuck. In contrast, individuals who can effectively navigate their emotions are empowered to move forward with clarity and purpose.

2.

Understanding empowers our emotions - we need to learn about healing in order to be able to heal. Naming our neuroses is not one, naming our afweermechanisme ís. Understanding the effects and thus symptoms of the hurt that's been done to us, builds the pillars that eventually will carry the grieve when grieved.

3.

As we embrace the reality of life and begin acknowledging our pain, we begin to understand that while we must carry it with us, it is possible to do so in a grounded manner. As we navigate our journey with resilience, transforming the weight of our experiences into a source of strength that ultimately becomes our stronghold, we carefully reconnect with the innate desire for connection.

4.

We need to acknowledge hurt and victimhood without the pionting fingers. We need to be able to understand, everybody is merely a victim, still this doesn't mean our anger and frustration isn't valid. It is, as is everyone else. It must co exist in order to recover. 

.wecneed a counselor simply because we don't not know what is normal. Our abnormal neurotic tendencies we recognise but it's in the unrecognized we keep being stuck. Verdragers structuur

5.

Healing woth online therapists and reels is kinda luke buildibg a house wothout knowledge of the materials and the foundation. Reels enlighten useful structures ans buoldibg tips, but no personal op maat. Connectuon is vital for healing, hunan connection life connection. Sharing our dofficilties in the battle we are in. Impatient, frustrated, set back we need someone to tell us i.o to not burn out. 

Prayong contemplatibg

Love after Love — By Derek Walcott

The time will come

when, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread, Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

6.

Aim up out of joy,,not out of must.

We are victim but when one says you cannot be one, come out iof it. Bthis is partly true. We are one but naming ourselves has a connotation of sickness. We are acvtively made tis way, tis way we are the healthy ones and our perpetraders are the disfunctionals. 

The least dysfunctional member of a family often ends up being the most dysfunctional one. This occurs because they recognize the dysfunction within the family and attempt to address it while still trying to remain a part of the system..

. All others simply become it, so live their normal life's seemingly without effort, unconscious repeating family hut, turning it therfor into generations trauma.

Shedding victimhood means declining we are actively put into this position. We need to reclaim we are máde this way, and now we need to spend a great de of life unmakung it. Time other people spend on creating life. We first must recreate ourself in order to become alive. In this last example,  hope and faith are crucial. It helps put things in persectice and understand the why and the hows and all the feeling that surround this,questions.

It means finding, training into a state of being where we are supported by something deep within,  our knowing  its the only way to really recovore eventually .

7.

Healing, or actually recovery involves aligning with the natural rhythm of our journey. Our primary focus is on nurturing our well-being in the present moment. As we engage in this process, whatever needs healing will emerge in our awareness when the time is right. This symbolic upbringing in adulthood helps us to ground ourselves in who we truly are. Memories can seek awareness again at their own quiet pace, waiting to be processed, allowing us to reconnect with the love and support we hold for our younger selves. In doing so, we create a safe space that enhances processing the grievances of that time. We are walking self healers and self protectors. Last ones will not let us alone in suppeosed or real danger. We need to get to know them and when time is right, give them something else to do. Our protectors ensure that we face only what we are equipped to handle. They will not move untill our inner mot self relly is redy to face the memory. Our younger selves have been left out in the cold by many adults; we ourselves, as adults, will also be mistrusted at first.

8

Supporting our younger selves through the grief we have endured thus demands patience, perseverance and unwavering dedication. It calls for a gentle, attentive and compassionate approach to every experience, soothing fight-flight, slowly growing into growing up. Healing often feels slow and elusive, marked by stretches of time when it appears that nothing is shifting. As we traverse through resurfacing memories, we are guided by our innermost selves. It is within this journey that we cultivate patience, perseverance, faith, and a deep appreciation for the present moment, all of which contribute to genuine healing.

9.

Tears are not the pain, they are the healing. 

Recovery begins with being able to see clearly and accept who we are. It is usually the moment when we actively seek to find the truly skillfull counselors or therapists for help. We choose to rrain opening up and let someone in into our misery, ready to make it real when spoken outloud in the real wirld.

Doing it yourself does not mean doing it alone. Connecting with peers or a therapist is essential to foster hope and build resilience. Connection is vital for recovery, as disconnection is often the root of suffering.

10.

This requires courage, as we opt to meet our true selves shaped by trauma, reflecting our childhood, our caregivers, our life and the burden we still experience today. It touches upon certainties and our loyalty, as this same loyalty strives to remain connected to family and abusers. We find ourselves criticizing our wounds, signifying internalization of the blame, while simultaniously reflecting our less desirable traits as well.  It's a complicated journey.

11.

13.

"Free will must be on board." A contradiction in terms. Recovery always - always -  is possible. It's society that makes us believe differently, simply because we choose to not have the knowledge, the time nor money. This,also states we chiose to agree to a,way of lofe that provides us to heal, instead of expecting a one - or maybe 3 year trjecct when we feel generous- to rise above. Free will to accept as the AA does with their programs, a life long path of recovery.

14.

Desolation is a powerful emotion that surely needs support. It emerges from loneliness and a desire for self-preservation, reminding us that we have to endure it alone. This reality confirms the false belief planted in us by our abusers during childhood. It creates a pervasive self-doubt that can be incredibly difficult to overcome and frequently resurfaces in subtle, unexpected ways, our ego tends to surprise us repeatedly, particularly when we approach our deepest wounds. For those who do not adhere to a specific religious belief or teaching, 

15

Do not say i have borderline. Say I was caused great harm when a child ad no im training to rise above. Not trying. Training.

Do,not saying try to be ,. say I train to be

This feels so much stronger than identity with an objectifying diagnose.

"I have borderline so what will YOU do about about Mrs therapist".

We are born whole and shred to pieces actively whether its often and small or one bigtimer. 

We cannot heal trauma without simne who cheers us n, simply because we will arrive at that certain point where the ego doesn't want to surrender, simply cos safety is ingrained into our being. 

We are dealing with the unaware part of our brain that's in charge of the fight flight. Old teaching, ALL teachings will fail at some point.  

Faith will not because faith will never rush, and nooit aan depoten van je stoel zagen. Faith will bring forth hope wich creates perseverence and change. Slowly we grow into a more healed state. No matter which believe or concvinvtion, the power f reconnecting with our innermost being being, whether its via buddha, mediyation, waljing, rrading the bilbe or prayong, alwaus leads to cinnection and thus relaxation.

16.

It’s often our upbringing that holds us back or makes it tempting to disconnect from our true potential. It’s important to recognize that we’ve spent 10 to 15 years being conditioned to believe in the impossible. Now, we must invest an equal amount of time in embracing what is possible. We might as,well enjoy the ride.

Neglect is a very true and always in your face. It's what normal life looks like.  We donnt even know what love feels lik, to be relaxed, to be joyous wirh oneanother, who have our backs, to feel safe, to ne durrounded by a lovung and supporting family. 

17.

Avoiding pain leads to stagnation, but choosing struggles wisely is the path to growth and strength. There's a fundamental difference between meaningless suffering and meaningful suffering.exactly the difference between living your life with everything you've been through versus feeling the pain. A purpose doesn't eliminate suffering but givesdirection and meaning whenever we don't cope anymore.. So when in extreme loss or misfortune a purpose or goal helps us as a hold-on to why it was tthat we're trainog to heal: wether its faith or staying alive for the children or "being afraid of death", they are all just as valid. As always, nuance is required here. Sometimes you dying or depressed causes more harm to people around you than it does to you, strangely enough. Especially when children are involved you are the cause to their hurt later un life.  So sometimes strength can be gained out of the decision ill do it for my children, mother, sister, neighbour, dog spouse... the sacrifice is precisely what builds the strenght,  building character on so many levels. Being needed adds important valuble, and is one of the biggest reason to cope or fight.

18.

Understanding is key to gaining insight into your unique processes. With this insight, you can confidently move forward. Trust in your counselor, the process, and your journey. Focus on cultivating a fulfilling daily life. This journey may be both challenging and healing, but it’s essential to acknowledge what is going well, even if it doesn't feel perfect right now. A counselor needs ou to feel make better after counseling. Yiu walk our of the conversation feeling empowered and hopeful. Looking forward to more do it yourselves.

19.

People don't need to be saved or rescued. People need knowledge of their own power and how to access it.

Spiritual living means life becomes easy- everything flows to you, you give up resistance, this creates room to be filled with the good stuff.  

It will still be with you, just handle it with tenderness and care, acknowledge it and comfort it and it won't have to rudely scream for attention, breaking the world you so carefully created.

20.

Patience and perseverence builds cathedrals.

Trusting life’s timing is and essential part of living. To know where we want to go and actually be there alway's a certain amount of time. We need to study for it, or travel to it, or sometimes buy something for it. Likewise with knowing where to nót go or not be and knowing how to handle that.

Answers don’t arrive out of the depth of our being on command. Iron doesn't turn into gold overnight. Rome hasn't been built in one day.

Patience becomes a powerful ally in moments of uncertainty, helping us recognize everything unfolds in its own time. These waiting periods offer opportunities to reflect, realign and recharge. Often, the answers we seek reveal themselves unexpectedly in ways more beautiful than we could have anticipated.

21.

Everything is mourning.

Loss is an inevitable part of life. Whether we lose someone we love, experience betrayal or battle deep depression, we mourn. We grieve for lost love, lost joy, our will to live and the life we once knew. Burnout brings its own mourning —  loss of energy, passion, creativity and restful sleep.  Grieving helps us uncover understanding. 

22.

Happiness isn’t the absence of difficulties - it’s learning how to navigate them.

Life is a journey of highs and lows. Some losses strike with unimaginable intensity. Pain is inevitable, yet we often expect perfection. True healing begins when we embrace reality instead of questioning it. By accepting what is, we create space for healing to quietly unfold and exactly in this space we find our micro small momemts of joy. This give us the strenght to keep going. Though we stumble, the path ahead becomes clearer. Exactly thát is healing.

23.

Pain met with love and patience brings forth  transformation.

Profound grief cannot be rationalized; it must simply be endured. Such losses reflect the depth of our love. When love has nowhere to go, it finds new ways to persist, only more refined, like iron turns into gold, the well known vergelijking always used. Grief and growth are intertwined, like mourning and morning; words bound by a shared essence. Every mourning leads to a new morning, tears don’t signify pain alone; they signify healing. Td water! They wash over our hearts, clearing the dirt that holds space for hope, renewal and new beginnings. It reveals what lies buried under the mud, it reveals our talents and our thrives.

24.

Learning to lean into the unknown.

If we knew upfront every step of the journey laid out by God, the Universe, the moon or our soul’s life plan, we might wish to skip the struggles. But it’s in the nót knowing that we grow. Trusting this journey shapes and builds, it strengthens our ability to handle life’s bigger challenges. Grief, though heavy, becomes the foundation for renewal, revealing a deeper and richer life than ever before.

Awarenes blooms unexpectedly, like a lotus rising. 

25.

There are many techniques and approaches to quiet the mind—whether for relaxation, coping, or manifesting. These practices can propel you into a more fulfilling and satisfying life. . All these possibilities for healing—and many more—are effective! However, they overlook the root of our greatest challenge: self-undermining.

To address this challenge, we need support—someone who can help us differentiate between ego and pain.. A friend may offer support, but they often can't commit years of their time. It's essential for this relationship to be equal and nurturing—for joyful reasons. Consider seeking guidance from a pastor or a counselor. Together, you can navigate these feelings, maintaining our diligence and faith as we move forward. Something you can learn but mostly you have to unlearn. learn to differentiate, good from bad, spirit from devil, ego or soul. A friend may offer support, but they often can't commit years of their time. It's essential for this relationship to be equal and nurturing—for joyful reasons. Consider seeking guidance from a pastor or a counselor. .  Be pure in obseration, leanr to listen. be in touch with your inner being so ood that you can bw your own therapist, teacher, comforter, oastor and parent.

26.

Study Dhammapda three pathways fir detailed ways of the 'how to''..

The people we surround ourselves with have a significant impact on our mindset. Our brains are constantly adapting and evolving based on the influences around us. The friends we hang out with, the people we follow, and the content we consume all influence our perception of what is "normal." Be intentional: choose relationships and influences, both online and offline, that align with the ones you strive to become. We are heal8ng turmoil we are fining worth..